A Mighty Fortress of Imagination
by xfmoon
Summary: The mind works in mysterious ways and Patrick Jane's mind is no different.


**Spoilers:** Minor spoilers for 1x10 Red Brick and Ivy.

**Disclaimer: **If I ever thought I owned The Mentalist you'd have my permission to commit me to a psych ward.

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_And in other news, this is just in. The state premier law enforcement agency, the CBI, issued a press release about ten minutes ago claiming they have caught the elusive serial killer that goes by the name of Red John. Red John has for the better part of the past decade caused over 30 known deaths most of which were women. The joint CBI/FBI special task force lead by FBI special agent Darius Foster captured the suspect earlier this morning. He states that they are 100% sure that the man in custody is the man known as Red John. He is currently being held in the state prison awaiting trial. At this point the death penalty is the expected sentence, though his defense attorney sounds confident that he can get the charges down to life in prison without the change of parole. Now over to you Kelly, what can you tell us about today's weather, will this heat continue to... _

The words slowly seeped in through his ears like water through a funnel. Drip, drip, drip it went until all the words had piled up in his brain, a puzzle of scrambled words lining up in neat sentences, gradually accumulating into a whole picture. He felt like waking up from a deep slumber, not unlike Rip Van Winkle. Red John had been captured, was in prison. Now where was Lisbon? And where was he? He looked up at the TV screen, a smiling 25 year old girl in a yellow shirt and blue jeans were standing in front of a map pointing at small clouds while eagerly talking about winds and low pressure systems.

He was sitting on a sofa made up of a brown shaggy sort of fabric. Looking down at himself he noticed he was all dressed in an off-white shirt and a matching pair of slacks, this was so not his color. How did this happen? Surveying his surroundings he saw other people dressed in equally dull clothes, all occupied by menial tasks, like coloring, making puzzled, playing board games or just waddling about. If he didn't know any better he'd say he was in an insane asylum. But why? Had he been recommitted? He knew he'd already left the nuthouse once, he had very distinct memories of that. So how had he ended up in such a place again?

He got up, he needed answers. He found an orderly, their blue uniforms made them easily distinguishable from the others. Pulling the man's shirt sleeve like an impatient child he said: _"Hey, hey I need some help here."_

The orderly having been busy helping a man with his pills turned around, looking at him with astonishment written all over his face, then resumed his professional composure and replied: _"Yes, what is it Mr. Jane?"_

_"I would like to know how I got here. What happened?"_

The man still seemed a little startled._ "Maybe I should get the doctor for you." _

_"Wait, why won't you just tell me?" Jan_e didn't have a good feeling about this.

_"Just wait here."_ The man said and left.

Jane feeling at a loss simply did as he was told.

A few minutes later the orderly came back. Accompanying him was a middle-aged man with grey hair and glasses, dressed in a white lab coat. The stereotypical image of a doctor had arrived. They led Jane into a more private room, the orderly went back to work and Jane was left with the doctor, who didn't waste any time.

_"So Mr. Jane, how are you feeling?"_

_"Fine."_ He said flatly.

_"Mhm, I hear you want to talk."_ Jane just nodded._ "About what happened?"_

Jane nodded again and added. _"That's right." _

_"And why now? What brought this on?"_ The man was going around in circles.

_"I don't know how I... I don't remember getting here or why or..."_ Jane kept getting stuck on his sentences. His mouth was dry and his tongue felt heavy and out of place, it was as if he hadn't spoken for a very long time.

_"What's the last thing you do remember?" _The doctor tried, goading him along.

_"It's kind of fuzzy..."_ Jane said honestly_ "...some case with Lisbon and the team."_

_"I see."_ Did he really or was this just an example of some typical doctor jargon?

_"What?"_ Jane hated when doctors were being cryptic, thinking they were the smartest person in a room. It was an act of superiority he knew only too well, and it irked him.

_"I'm not sure why, but you seem more lucid today than you normally do."_

_"Gee thanks."_ Jane muttered.

The doctor ignored him and continued. _"It's been a long time since we've actually been able to communicate with you. But you might be ready. So tell you what, I'll divulge the truth for you and we'll take it from there. How does that sound?"_

_"Great."_ Just great Jane thought.

_"Okay you better sit down for this. I promise you it's going to be quite a ride."_

Jane sat down, looking expectantly at the doctor, while mentally preparing himself for what was to come.

_"I'll start at the very beginning then. You first came to us after your wife and daughter was murdered."_ He took a breath of air to continue, but before he could Jane interrupted him.

_"No wait..., that's not right, this is a different hospital... I remember..."_

The doctor just shook his head. _"Mr. Jane, listen, you were very far gone when you came here, you might not have..."_

_"No! I know where I was."_ The doctor tried to get a word in but Jane didn't allow it, talking out loud as the thoughts occurred to him. _"You mean this is where I was before, and where I was recommitted for some reason."_

_"Yes and no not exactly. Just calm down a little and I'll try to explain everything."_

Jane took a few deep breaths to do just that, meanwhile going over what he thought he knew in his mind. And that was, that this was definitely not the place he'd been. Maybe someone was messing with his head. Then a thought occurred to him. _"What about Sophie?"_ He asked.

_"Sophie who?" _The doctor inquired.

_"My psychiatrist."_

_"I'm your psychiatrist, Dr. Herman Schultz."_ He said and stretched out his hand, but Jane didn't take it. Dr. Herman however didn't see that as an insult instead he just kept going. _"...and I have been the caretaker of your mental health for a very long time now."_

_"But before that."_ Jane tried.

_"You mean at the other hospital."_

_"Yes."_

_"I'm sorry Patrick but that place doesn't exist, except for in your mind."_ The pity in his voice radiated through the words he spoke.

_"But I remember her, our conversations, interactions, just as clearly as I can see and talk to you now."_

The doctor looked up, touched his chin and tapped his mouth a few times, before saying: _"We had an intern called Sophie just around the time you arrived. Sweet girl, young..., in her early twenties I believe, maybe she got through to you on some level."_

Sophie hadn't been that young Jane mused. _"Brown hair, blue eyes?"_ He asked.

_"No. She was more of a Goth type. You know dark clothes purple punker hair, nose ring that sort of thing... and brown eyes I think."_

Jane sighed, definitely not his girl.

The doctor looked at him to see if he would make more objections. When that didn't seem to be the case he continued. _"After your family was killed you were brought in more or less catatonic. It took months for you to improve and even then you developed some kind of dissociative disorder."_

_"What exactly does that mean, doctor?"_

_"Well, you were here but you were not exactly present in the moment. Most things didn't really register. You lived the life you thought you deserved… in your head." _He added as an afterthought. _"You invented people, scenarios, and like a writer you deepened the characters and __elaborated __the stories, until they became so real you believed them to be true."_

_"What exactly are you saying? What is it that you're telling me?"_ Jane asked though he already knew the answer._ "…All the cases... the team... Lisbon..."_

_"None of them real."_ The calmness in the doctor's voice surprised him.

_"No. You're lying."_ Denial had set in.

_"The cases you devised were a chance for you to right your wrongs. The people you surrounded yourself with - came to love - are all aspects of your own personality. Van Pelt your innocence and naiveté, Rigsby your inner wondering and goodhearted child, Cho stern and steadfast representing your determination, and of course Lisbon embodies your caring and loving side. All of these characters, loyal and intelligent, the perfect combinations of positive traits thrown together to concoct your redemption." _

Jane could not believe his own ears. This had to be some kind of cruel trick. As the doctor continued his story, he eyed him every so often to grasp his reaction.

_"...Other recurring characters in your world accounted for what you have judged to be the lesser important sides of your psyche, for example Bertram the mediator that smooths out the rough edges to present a prettier picture or Brenda who is your curiousness. You turned her dark lately because as we all know curiosity killed the cat, doing something or wanting to know something that is not for our eyes and ears, that's what you think you did to get your family killed. This brings us to the evil you met, that's the darker sides you have denied to possess. Any and all impure considerations you've ever had that you're ashamed of, adultery, looting, deception, murderous impulses, etc. you name it." _

Jane was staring at him, mouth agape, finding the whole story incredulous.

The doctor could see that this was a lot to take in for Jane, so he thought lightening the mood was the way to go and went for humor._ "I don't know where you came up with all the names or places. Your mind truly is a mystery, but it __must be a wonderful place since you've more or less been living inside of it for the better part of a decade." _He gave him a crooked smile but Jane didn't find it the least bit funny.

_"You mean I'm all alone? There's no one else? They don't exist? None of them?"_ With each question Jane's gut wrenched into a tighter and tighter knot.

_"That's right."_ And that was it, the brutal truth. Compassion didn't really seem to be this doctor's strength.

_"So what am I supposed to do now?" _He asked discouraged.

_"We have to figure out what happened today. Then we need to make sure you're really okay, that this isn't just some kind of fluke, and then we'll release you while making sure that your reintegration back into society goes smoothly of course."_

_"Okay." _Jane said hesitantly.

_"So first things first. We need to clear this up. Find the cause to your sudden remission. What exactly were you doing when you woke up?"_

_"Hmm let me see... the first thing I remember... was watching the news."_

_"Go on." _The doctor urged.

Jane squinted slightly trying to remember. _"Red John! They caught him!"_

_"Ahh okay I see, that must be it. Your goal; Red John's capture and demise, was fulfilled and so your mind releases you from the hold it has had on you."_

_"So do you think I'm cured?" _Jane couldn't help but sound hopeful.

_"I think we'll keep you under observation for a little while, just to make sure you don't relapse. I imagine we'll have some issues to work through…, abandonment, despair, anger." _ raised an eyebrow in question. It went unanswered. _"All so you don't feel alone now that you know the people you thought you could rely on don't exist."_

Jane sighed. _"I guess you're right." _What else could he say at this point?

_"Okay good. Why don't you try and get some rest and then we'll talk some more again tomorrow."_

Not having the strength to argue Jane stood and made a move to leave._ "Yeah that might be a good idea. I have a lot to think about. Thank you doctor."_

_"See you tomorrow, Patrick."_

Jane nodded politely and left.

**xXx**

Sleep didn't come easy for Jane that night. No wonder, he'd practically been asleep for ten years. He knew he had nothing on Sleeping Beauty though, but that was still a long time to be out of the loop. His mind was full of questions. Questions he had no answers to. Memories that had never happened. Loved ones that were forever lost. This was going to take him some time to get used to.

He was free, not from the guilt, but from Red John and his grip on his mind. He would never know if the revenge he'd wanted to exact on the torturer of his mind and soul would have been a reality had he had the chance. He needed to learn to accept that fact and move on, if his dream world had taught him anything it was that this wasn't an impossibility. He had learned to love again, been in love even, which was the worst tragedy. Since not only had he lost his family, Lisbon had also been brutality ripped away from him by reality. He felt a little silly, having in fact been in love with himself, Narcissus would have been proud. However she had just been so real, so tangible, they all had, but her in particular. It must be right what people said,_ 'to truly be able to love another person you must first love yourself.'_ And now that he did, he was ready to move on.

As his eyes finally fluttered shut the faint outline of a petite brunette with emerald green eyes appeared to him one last time. Her voice whispering quietly along with the wind: _"Goodbye Patrick, be well!"_ Her image blurred, Patrick Jane was asleep a warm and happy smile gracing his lips.

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**A/N:** Too sad? Being all alone in the world :(

I for one do not want the show to end like this. It just kinda appeared in my mind and demanded to be written, so here you go.

I was tempted to make her last word 'Live long and prosper' not that I'm a Trekkie, it just popped into my head. Oh well Sophie's words won out.


End file.
